Everyone is doing the best that they are able within the understanding and awareness they have in each moment.
Many years ago, I read similar words, and it made sense to me, so I decided to adopt it as a belief and see how it worked for me. When we understand that everyone is doing the best they are capable of, it helps us to let go of intolerance. It helps us to forgive others for what we perceived they did to us, and it helps us to forgive ourselves.
I am going to explain it in a little more depth, but first I want to say this. I have just realised that the main difference between me and most people I know, is that I consciously choose what I want to believe. I consciously choose beliefs that resonate with me, that encourage me to be kinder, more tolerant, peaceful, loving and joyful…. that make my life happy. At the same time, I am so open to letting go of sub-conscious beliefs that I have held for many years and no longer serve me, that life is constantly bringing me experiences to show me what they are so with awareness, I can acknowledge them and send them on their way with love. They no longer have any power over me. I do this all the time. It has been the underlying driving force in my life since 2007. This is why, at the age of 53, I sit, in the presence of my own imminent death, in love and joy and peace. No anxiety or stress.
Back to the statement that everyone is doing their best in every given moment. Once again, I am going to bang on about the mind. I will continue to beat this drum over and over and over again. Why? Because the mind is the cause of ALL our suffering. Most people think it is life that is the cause of our suffering. It is not. It is our own mind.
None of us are in our right mind. The only right mind is the Mind of God/Creator/The Divine. This is the only Mind that sees things as they really are, that clearly sees the bigger picture… the Much Bigger, Eternal Picture. We have access to (a tiny part) of this Mind through our Spirit, our Higher Self (there are so many different names) through inspiration, awareness, revelation (aha moments), and through choosing to focus our attention on things that grow our connection with our Spirit.
The human mind has several parts. For the purposes of this blog post, I will focus mainly on two. The sub-conscious mind and the conscious mind. The sub-conscious mind is, (on the negative side), unaware, delusional, afraid (driven by survival), often juvenile and deeply conditioned. It runs automatically on programs, responding to prompts without rational thought. I have seen figures thrown around by experts who believe that most people operate from the sub-conscious mind around 90% of the time. This is clearly not good news for the individual or humanity as a whole. What we want to do is increase our awareness so we are operating more of the time out of the conscious mind. The conscious human mind is capable of rational, intelligent thought. It can accept new ideas quickly, adjust, plan, apply logic and reason and make informed decisions. It is still very subject to bias, perception, the beliefs of the sub-conscious mind and capable of delusion, but it is a step up in awareness from the sub-conscious mind. The ideal is to be operating out of what Carl Jung called the Super Conscious Mind – or the Mind of God. It is something to aim for…
The sub-conscious mind is not bad. It is incredibly important and very clever at what it does, but the major problem arises when we live in such a way that most of our time is spent in our sub-conscious mind. We don’t live in the present. We are just re-creating our past. Our awareness isn’t great. We live life according to beliefs that were created when we were children. This is clearly obvious when a belief that is based in pain is triggered, then we act like children, reverting back instantly to the age we were when that belief was created and losing the ability to use the rational intelligent thinking associated with our conscious mind.
All of us have had a trigger triggered (sorry, I really can’t think of a better word), at some point and “lost it”. I am talking about a time when someone said or did something and you reacted. The rage, hurt, offense, shame, guilt, victim-hood, aggression, whatever the feeling was, arose instantly and you either shut down, attacked or defended yourself. The retaliatory words flew out of your mouth before you could even think, or you went straight into being deeply offended, or you just wanted to crawl under a rock and hide because you felt so deeply ashamed. You reacted.
Many, many people, in fact I would go so far as to say most people, have no idea that they have been triggered and are now not operating out of their conscious mind. They believe that whatever it was that happened outside of themselves… the event, the action or words of another, is the cause of them feeling like this.
My Friend, it isn’t.
It is your own mind.
When I understood that other people could hear the same words I had heard, experience the same event I had experienced…. AND NOT REACT……. I realised that the problem, AND THE SOLUTION, were in my own mind.
This is really powerful….. it means that when you learn how to manage your own mind, you won’t feel all those negative emotions that you thought things outside of yourself were causing. You have stopped being a victim of life.
It seems like I have got off-track, but it ties in. Everyone, in every moment is doing the best they are capable of IN that moment..
Do you see what I mean?
We can only operate out of the awareness and understanding that we have in each individual moment. It is impossible for us, in that moment to be any different… otherwise we would…. who doesn’t want to make the most intelligent, rational, inspired, perfect choice in every moment if they knew what it was and the benefits it would bring.
When we have been triggered and are operating from our sub-conscious mind, then we have very little awareness and intelligent understanding at all. We are operating out of emotion without conscious awareness, and that has been proven time and time again to not end well.
Yesterday a friend shared a post on facebook of people in the UK protesting in a rally against wearing face masks. I didn’t read the full account because my initial reaction was annoyance. I thought, well that is absolutely ridiculous, they need to get over themselves, think about others, stop being selfish etc. I fully understand that for most people, COVID-19 doesn’t cause much of a problem. But for some people it does, and because it seems to be super contagious, the main problem is the ability of Health Care Systems to cope with more people than usual requiring ICU and Ventilators. Simple really. In an evolved culture, people look after each other and don’t act in ways that put other people, particularly the vulnerable ones, in danger. There is also the annoyance of knowing that these people who refuse to wear face masks and who get a severe case of COVID-19 are going to be up at the hospital wanting ICU care and a ventilator if necessary.
But the point I am trying to make is this. If those people were capable in their minds of having the awareness and understanding which allows the majority of the population to quietly don face masks and get on with life as it is at the moment, then they would be doing just that… quietly donning face masks. But they aren’t, because something in their mind is telling them that their personal rights, or whatever it is that they feel is being violated by wearing a face mask, is more important than wearing a face mask. And they are believing what their mind is telling them. They are believing what they are feeling. It is what we all do. Sometimes the results are disastrous.
They are doing the best with the understanding and awareness they have right this moment. There is no point in being angry and blaming, that just upsets our peace, and adds to the intolerance and unrest that is gathering momentum in the world at the moment. They cannot and will not change until they can. Anger and berating just produce resistance. Fines might do the trick …or not. Calm and reasoned presentation of an alternative view might do the trick… or not.
We have all been, and all are, hostage to our mind.
To create a better world, we all need to begin to question our own minds. Stop blindly believing our thoughts. Open ourselves to other points of view, challenge our thinking. We all tend to surround ourselves with people that have similar beliefs and views as us because it is comfortable and it reinforces our own “rightness”. Because our views and beliefs seem so right to us, it is then easy to label those who believe differently as ignorant, misguided and misled. The results of this thinking is separation, intolerance, discrimination and a multitude of other attitudes that are the opposite of harmony.
Life is so much better lived in harmony. Life is so much better lived in love and joy and peace and tolerance. Life is so much better when we live with openness.
But that is my opinion.
It has become my truth.
You don’t need to believe me.
Sit with the thought that everyone is doing the best they are able in every given moment and see if it works for you.